I LOST YOU
HAPPY(not so) VALENTINES DAY
& SINGLE AWARENESS DAY
.
.
I wanted to look strong &prove to you that i could stand on my own two feet but i just couldn hold back my tears. I apologise sincerely. Silence in the air when it had to end, sadly. I tried to ignore, i really tried hard. We heard about all those relationships that weren't true &i wanted to set it right. But i couldn tell anyone how i feel.
.
Well, apparently it was suppose to be a singles day 'celebration'. But there were definately exceptions &as you might know, i was not exactly celebrating AT ALL. But heres a really big THANKYOU!! to Debbie, Jerome, Shawn, Glenn, Arjun, Raj, Leon, Jeremy, Jordan, Dayson, JianYe, Danker, Sheree, Darren, Nat, Benny, YiXiang &Joel(Should be everyone but sorry if i missed out anyone). BIG WIDE SMILE* "THANKYOU FRIENDS! You guys have filled my day with lots of fun peace joy &laughter! I'm sorry if i made you guys worry about me &spoiled the day, but thankyou for being there..." Countless crazy shots we had. Leaving it with much love &memories.
.
I gladly announce that i was offically FAT. Many rounds of the "EAT ALL YOU CAN" buffet at Sakura. I must protest that I WAS NOT DEPRESSED! I just wanted to eat till my hearts content, i swear. I diddn realise that he was THAT hot now! Its been awhile till i saw a close up. He "WOWed" me extremely. Jian Ye bought a pretty rose for me!! &Glenn made me realise that i was stupid. The night ended with a big bang! Thankyou Mummy for picking me up at such a late hour.
.
take a stand
posted by becks at 1:17 AM
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I BELIEVE
.
I ignored those silly remarks about it being friday 13th where badluck occurs BUT i must admit that i, 99.5%, agree that friday 13th is an unlucky day. Definately not being supersticious, i swear. Merely just stating a fact! I diddn't realise i was frowning badly the whole day. Through the fun blickering, a sudden shock, like a gun shot, came along. Then cries. Have i really been erased? I gladly laid my phone aside, hoping it was all just another nightmare.
.
A quick scent dashed passed, damn! I smiled reluctantly when my lovely friends acted foolish just to see me, at least, giggle. Hey! What are friends for right? Someone please look me in the eyes &tell me that i'll be okay because i want to be! "The truth hurts, but a lies worst" flashed through my mind. It did take 10% of my 'depressed state' away tho. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you. Tried to take my mind off it by making my mind busy, gazing at no where. Pushed myself too. I really thank God for friends in high &low places.
.
A pretty heart balloon i got from Shawn Chew(my very first valentines day gift, oh so loved) which did make me smile mildly. Dear Song Kai &Raj were present to cheer me up, ALOT. Turning my cries into frowns into smiles and finally laughter! Not forgetting my dearest girlfriend, Debbie, for always being there for me. It would be legal to drown my sorrows in about 1year2months2days(desperately waiting, impatiently)! According to janice, chocolates will do the trick. But according to chew, songs would(?)! Then i realised i started humming to the song tonight... &i felt a tear.
.
My fingers crossed, eyes closed, wishing real hard that this was all just a scary nightmare that was not meant to happen. My valentine? Im sorry...
.
dont wana live a lie
posted by becks at 8:30 PM
Friday, February 13, 2009
WHATS THE POINT
I tried to turn a deaf ear. Definately tried my best! Headed to shelter thinking that all would be fine. I cried my heart out, deep inside... I gasp the last breath before giving up. Eventually, i did. Knock on the head to wake me up from my terrible nightmare. I thought it was over! Sometimes nagging are meant to tell you that people do care. I cared. He cared. Everyone cared! I hid my face in embarrassment, when it was not about me at all. It was not explicit, i swear. I felt a smile, thankfully. Loved ones, like friends, will always be there for you. Wherever, whenever.
.
only fools rush in
posted by becks at 9:20 PM
Thursday, February 12, 2009
SMILING
Oh happy day! BIG SMILE* I was smiling naturally, finally. PE was the best with the lovely 5B girls. Its rather surprising that the unbelieveable became believeable! Yes, surprising i'd say.. Peer pressure was prickling me insanely! I rejected Synergy Night, hurtfully. Last period of the day &sleepyness triggered in a flash. I doodled my way out of "lala land" trying to pay really close attention. Lending a listening ear is what i'd always try to do(?). Love flew pass the thick layer of smoke, reminding me that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". I did treasure every moment, knowing that i must! Admires &blinded.
I certainly am blessed with great friends! Darren Seow Wei Chong was influencing me to go nuts when i reached shelter. Laughter, the best medicine! Cheek bones hurt badly with all the really crazy videos i enjoyed. I laughed till i teared. Here's one...
A baby i really adore!
.
Leaving it with memories i had... So, its alright now i hope. New found friends i diddn know i'd have. Ooh wells, I'll be constantly reminding myself that its all going to be just fine because it definately did get better in time! Thank God!
.
tears of joy
posted by becks at 8:00 PM
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
OVER
"In the heart of every woman,
there is room for a pet.
Dogs and cats provide solace and affection...
How rare is the man who knows that
the pet of choice for today's woman
is the intellengent in noble pig"
.
make me believe
posted by becks at 10:29 PM
Monday, February 9, 2009
