Lately, i have been good. I try real hard to be happy. Confessions and Confusions. Love and Hate. Stress and Slack. I do feel it! I force myself to study with the big change that has happened. I pray real hard everyday for my boy who once was so dear to me. I felt horrible the whole day. The man-ly voice just made it worse. I'd be lying if i said cheer went well. Dayson nearly fell face down on the floor and jerome dropped on me, literally drop! It could be disaster if the 'experienced' people were not there. Played volleyball with the gang and later the vb guys. My arm got bruised and its swelling like crazy!
sigh* it hurts inside and outside
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its that what you need
posted by becks at 10:30 PM
Thursday, April 2, 2009
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!
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Leon tried to fool me after what happened in the library.. *class secret* But it was a two-way april fools! =D
(apparently, i wasn't the one replying!)
L: Hey. I think i am starting to like you. Do you feel a thing for me?
R: Ya i like you, you fat girl!
L: Huh? Whose the fat girl? Winy?
R:Winy what Winy. Winy your mother name arh? Winy tan.
L: Answer my question =(
R: I think i also have feelings for you(:
L: Really seriously? =)
R: Yes fat girl(:
L: Janice? She's not with me now.
R: So you really like me...?
L: Yea. Not lying.
R: -diddn reply-
L: Sorry if i scare you. Just tell me the truth please really wana know. Doesnt matter if you reject me.
L: You don't like me right?
R: I love you
L: Really?
R: Yes
L: Haha i am totally kidding luh. Happy April fool! Haha. You guessed it right?
R: No i thought you were serious.
L: Really ah? Sorry rebekah.. Really my bad.. Was just kidding only sorry.
-leon called-
-chew picked up and acted as my daddy-
-leon hung up-
R: Sorry you called my dad picked up. You called for?
L: Yeah just wanted to say sorry. Diddn mean to play this prank on you. Sorry.
R: I don't think its very funny. I thought you were being honest with me. Actually forget it luh. Do whatever you want, i dont care.
L: Hey hey sorry. I really really diddn mean it. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me. Dont be angry. Please?
L: Hey beck dont be angry anymore alright? I am really sorry.
L: Hey beck. Please dont be angry? I know you must be mad at me, I am really sorry.
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I bet you felt guilty huh leon! x) WE DID IT!
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Chew Raj &I went to Jillian's house to bake Peanut Butter Cookies! We had much fun. Too many pictures to post. So...
Visit PICTURES to get a glimps of what we did(: .
much april love,
becks*
posted by becks at 9:39 PM
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I absent myself from school for the past 3 school days. High fever on tuesday. Mid-fever on wednesday. Low-fever on thursday. No fever on friday! I continued to stay sick by breaking a little rule and indulged myself in the "massive attack"(shared with des). Closed one eye and suffered more later.
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..
I depended on drowsy medicine to put me to sleep these few days. Not insomnia. I am tired of it and its passionless limbs that drap over my bed in a lethargic state. I love Mummy oh so much! And i really thank God for her! She was there when i was feeling the range from suicide, heartbreak, lose of love, lose of faith and loosing myself. Even when i bit my tongue trying not to say anything. She knew. The dried up tear path on my face gave me away. I clasp tightly in her arms, pouring out everything that i felt. A hole in my heart that needs fixing. Mummy is the best! smiles* All my wants were washed down the drain. But everthing i had, stayed in place. Love memories has traced the outline of every place. For now, time has forgotten me. Yet our memories linger, and love remembers. I am lost. And its definately true that we have to get lost to find ourself. Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Another picture to burn?.
Blessings i grant you.
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i'm a mess, and i know it
posted by becks at 10:31 PM
Monday, March 30, 2009
